From the StopPatriarchy blog:
I Just Want The Day to Come…
By Molly in Seattle | August 16, 2013 | Revolution Newspaper | revcom.us
I gave myself an abortion in 1956. I had five children under 6 years, and my husband had left me for another woman. I became involved with the husband of that woman, and soon found myself pregnant. I knew I did not want to have another child, I was worried what the effect of this pregnancy would have on my family and the live children I was responsible for, and was still trying to figure out what I would do in this new ‘unmarried’ situation. I began massaging myself very violently, and repeatedly, while sitting on the toilet.
When after a couple of days of this, nothing had happened, I used a douche nozzle, to pry at my cervix. This was pretty painful, and I was black and blue from the massaging but I was determined to keep at it.
I of course, was not telling anyone about my situation, not friends or relatives. I did not even use the word ‘abortion’ to myself, thinking of it as ‘giving myself a miscarriage’.
After hours and days of this self abuse, I began to bleed, and soon blood clots and blood signaled that I was no longer pregnant, though I was feverish for several days.
The worst part was the isolation and secrecy.
It was over 20 years later, in therapy, that I told about this.
Today at 81, I have no regrets at all; just want the day to come when no women have to hide and apologize, for ending a pregnancy they do not want, or end up being an incubator.
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